As a woman, the diatribes being spewed out over the recent change in Renee Zellwegger’s appearance dismay me. But mostly I am embarrassed by the fact that many of the people speaking out against her actions are her peers—other women. In a world where women still make a lesser wage than men, where we try to raise our daughters as empowered people, and we are still trying to break through the glass ceiling of certain arenas, it is appalling that women are making a big deal of this issue.

As a society we wage war against bullying—in schools, in sports (last years Miami Dolphin scandal between Incognito and Martin), and in the workplace. As women, we have fought for the right to choice for our bodies when it comes to the issue of ending unwanted pregnancy. So what? We can’t do the same when it comes to drooping eyelids and crow’s feet?

So why is it okay for us to bully Renee over some minor plastic surgery? And yes, I mean minor. While her appearance is different, I believe she made subtle choices (like Jennifer Gray’s simple nose job made her unrecognizable years ago). Her surgery is mild compared to celebrities who do the duck-billed platypus lip plump, install cheek implants the size of basketballs, or choose a lift so drastic that their eyebrows now live at their hairline.

Come on people. Should we be so harsh on the decisions people make to increase their personal happiness? I think not.